Sometimes, Black Women Need to Say “F**K I.T.”

FORGIVE only when you are ready and in the way(s) that make sense for your own healing. We are often pressured into premature forgiveness or told what that should look like. Usually, neither of these it to benefit us in our own healing journey. Allow no one to tell you when (or if) you should forgive. Do not let anyone dictate how your forgiveness (when it happens) should show up.

UNAPOLOGETICALLY Say No — -it is a complete sentence and you do not need to overwhelm yourself for others.

CENTER yourself. Your needs as a Black woman should matter. Insisting in movements and in relationships that you are a priority is crucial in getting your needs met.

KICK butt when it needs to happen — we spend too much time holding back our concerns due to the reality of being called aggressive/intimidating. Fragility and gaslighting keeps us from being able to address our very valid concerns. Do it anyway — -and take names.

INVEST in your goals. Prioritize your passion. Oftentimes, we put our desires/dreams on the backburner as we assist others in meeting their own. In doing so, we often find ourselves looking back on “what might have been” — -because we never took the time to make it happen. Your passions matter.

TAKE care of yourself. True self-care. Burn sage. Pray. Spend time alone — or with those who truly value your existence. Step away. Step towards. Do all of these in whatever combination brings you joy

(Repost from December 2019).

Dr. Tyffani is a licensed psychologist. Her hardest job is being a Black Woman who centers the experiences of Black women and girls. Daily, she is learning to more often say F**K IT. “Like”/Follow her on Facebook and Medium (@DrTyffani). Subscribe to her Youtube Channel @CenteringSisters