Rittenhouse, The Weaponizing of White Tears, & Why There is No Crying in Blackness
Crying is often used as a sign to let others know that we are experiencing something powerful. It will represent the outward manifestation of our frustration, our grief, our pain, and on occasion, our overwhelming joy.
Tears will flow when we skin a knee,
Or when we think about the ancestor who used to kiss that same knee for us
Tears can serve as the water source that tempers the fire of our rage when it is not safe to fully express it
For those that came before us, sometimes quiet tears were the only acknowledgement they could have for losses and unspeakable traumas they were forced to endure in order to merely survive
Tears can be healing
It can be that moment of vulnerability when we decide that the façade of Strength is suffocating us
When we let our burdens down and bathe in the salty waters of our truth
Tears can be freedom
And yet, even in this, tears can also be dangerous for marginalized folks
These same tears can be weaponized to silence our voices by those who will shed them in an attempt to push forward the narrative that we are dangerous
And that whatever becomes us due to that false fear is now justified
We see this in white women who shed them in board meetings, claiming that the passion of Black women is intimidating and is the cause of such a display
We see this when we challenge overt and covert racism, with the crier demanding that we absolve them of their racist behavior
We are hearing about the need to avoid tears of white children when we insist upon teaching an accurate history that does not diminish the horrors this country has done to its most oppressed people
We are seeing it in this moment as #KyleRittenhouse stands trial for murdering protesters
As we watch him cry on the stand, we listen as his tears are framed by others as a sign of his helplessness, instead of a societally-sanctioned attempt to view him as a child versus a murderer
And we know that many will fall for it, because tears of those society views as worthy of empathy are given it, even when it is not deserved
And there will be no cry of “suck it up” in those moments
Because tears in any form are honored for the privileged few that are deemed entitled to such
While for the rest of us, we have consistently been reminded that….
Tears are not allowed for everyone
Dr. Dent is a licensed psychologist. Her hardest job is being a Black Woman who centers the experiences of ALL Black women and girls. Make sure to “Like” her page and listen to her on the Centering Sisters Videocast on Facebook Live (@CenteringSisters) and on Youtube.