Not Up For Debate: Black Women Cannot Fully Show Up, Ever
Watching part of the Vice Presidential Debate (only part, because self-care does not permit that much exposure to justifications for White Supremacy to invade by psyche), there was one thing that remained not up for debate.
Black women are not permitted to show up as their full, authentic selves.
This is not new.
It has been our experience since our ancestors were stolen and brought to this country.
The reminders to not be
Too passionate
Too loud
Too assertive
Have been drilled into us from early childhood with the consequences being “Pushed out”, over-disciplined, not listened to, and placed in the unfair role of threatening/aggressor
The VP debate was a microcosm of the world in which Black women live
Even when they have reached the highest pinnacles of education and power
We still have to watch our tone
Smile
As White men are permitted to interrupt
Not following the rules
And we cannot look to White women to come to our aid
As the moderator, Susan Page continued to permit Pence to violate the rules
And saved her most firm admonishments for Kamala
Who had to insist that she be allowed her time
Her space
Her voice
While still being forced into a box of
Not being too much
Not showing her emotions on her face
Because any missteps will be used as justification for why she is not fit
She is “just not right”
That will play into the deep-seated dislike of Black Women
And the false belief that we are just not qualified
It is great being a Black woman
It is also filled with emotional labor
Maya Watson (@MayaWatson) on Twitter put it best “The amount of mind Olympics Kamala has to do to not come across as angry, emotional, combative but also be firm, warm, honest, direct …all while this mf’er is straight up lying and gaslighting her.”
We are denigrated for our strength
For claiming our space
For insisting our voices be heard
Because misogynoir pushes the Sapphire narrative when we do
That we are the Loud, Angry, Black Woman
So, we instead have to “fix our faces”
“Come across as neutral”
Twist our souls and our words into a respectability pretzel because we know that otherwise, no one will listen
And no, this is not a “All Woman” Concept
It is uniquely the experience of Black women
Because being called a Bitch is problematic
Being viewed as “threatening”/”intimidating” — -which are primarily used to describe Black women asserting their voices and expertise
Is dangerous
And determining when and if we are going to risk taking that dance
Knowing it may jeopardize everything we deserve
Is the Black Women experience
And even the fly on Pence’s head recognized that shit
#KamalaHarris #VPDebate #SupportBlackWomen #VoteForBlackWomen #HigherHeights #DrTyffani
Dr. Dent is a licensed psychologist. Her hardest job is being a Black Woman who centers the experiences of Black women and girls. She knows that even her training as a mental health professional does not keep her from being exhausted by the emotional labor of being a Black Woman in America.