Meghan Markle and Why Black Women are Speaking Up

In watching Black Women’s responses to the Meghan Markle interview with Oprah earlier this week, something remains clear to me that does not seem to fully translate to non-Black women. The response of Black women to the overt and covert racism Meghan has experienced during her marriage is more than just about Meghan.

It is about the experiences of Black women.

Period.

Regardless of how Meghan chooses to define herself, or the arguments that others have made regarding her racial identity — -just like Black women have for centuries been defined by the One-drop Rule that has been utilized to justify our sexual and physical oppression and denial of our basic humanity, the response to Meghan’s marriage by non-Black people has made it clear that she is a Black woman. Therefore, the arguments that she is somehow “not worthy”, “second-rate”, etc are permitted because, no matter the accomplishments of Black women, somehow we remain undeserving.

Black women are standing up for Meghan because the messages that are being conveyed about her by non-Black folks are the same ones they face on a daily basis. The irony in Meghan who had her own money, her own college education, her own career being deemed “unworthy” while her White counterpart in the Royal family had neither of the first or the last quality, is telling. Even comparing her to her husband, who although standing up for his wife, also achieved less on his own merit — -is telling. Yet, we know that the world devalues Black woman and anything that we have earned (even a loving relationship), is not something that we deserve.

It is the Black Woman’s Story.

Hearing White women share their shock at how Meghan was treated, as they manage to gaslight, denigrate, question the value of their Black women co-workers, or shut down the voices of these same Black women by claiming that they are feeling “uncomfortable” or “attacked”, is the height of hypocrisy. Because it seems that it is easier to call out harm to Meghan, than it is to look at that which one is causing closer to home.

Black women know about colorism. Most of our lives we have been told that lightness is more desirable — -that proximity to whiteness is the ideal. We watch as racial ambiguity is viewed as the ideal, while darker skin and Black features (the latter being acceptable when they are cosmetically placed onto the bodies of non-Black women), are somehow — — less than. We know that lighter skin has its advantages in a world where Whiteness is viewed as the norm. Even as we hear others bemoan Meghan’s experiences with those in the Royal Family worrying about the “color” of her child, we also remember the failure of many of those same voices to stand up for Michelle Obama when images circulated depicting her as savage.

Black women recognize that Meghan’s eyes are being opened to what it is like for racial ambiguity to no longer be able to save you — -when racial purity is the only acceptable option. And yet, she is being given grace by some outside of Black womanhood because her freckles, non-4C hair, and lighter-skin tone make her “softer” and more “identifiable” than those within our community of a darker hue.

In all of this, Black women defend her — -even when there have been times when she has not fully aligned with us, because in this moment (at least), she is us. The racial stress/trauma inflicted on her by those within the UK is our experience. The toll on her mental health is one that we know too well.

The major difference is that many of us do not have the option or resources to escape.

We remain having to prove that we deserve to sit at tables daily. Our daughters try to find the balance between speaking their minds and not being told that they are “too aggressive”. We all fight the battle of existing in environments in which we will never measure up because we live in the intersection of Black and woman.

This is beyond Meghan.

She is just the current manifestation of how society treats Black women.

Our indignation has been here.

It is only because, for various reasons (colorism, being able to view it as an “other’/non-American racial issue, etc) Meghan has shone a spotlight on the daily struggle of being…us — — that you are choosing to express disappointment and shock.

Advice, save some of your indignation for yourself — -and how you (or those you know), treat the Black women in your own space. I promise, they would benefit from your energy more than Meghan will.

#MeghanMarkle #BlackWomen #ntersectional #CenteringSisters #DrTyffani

Dr. Dent is a licensed psychologist. Her hardest job is being a Black Woman who centers the experiences of Black women and girls. When she was younger, she stayed up all night to make sure she did not miss the wedding of Princess Diana. As she got older, she realized that the world does not “offer” crowns to Black women.