How Tabitha Brown Showing Up Unapologetically is #Goals, But Not Reality for Black Women

Tabitha Brown has been #Goals. Since she burst onto the scene with her natural hair, southern accent, and vegan enthusiasm, Tabitha has shown what it means to be unapologetically Black and to achieve success. Yet, recently, Black women were reminded that such #Goals are not fully attainable. In her recent social media post, Tabitha alluded to consequences of refusing to “show up” other than her full self. In her post, Tabitha asserted “I know I’ve said this so many times before, but for whatever reason, people just don’t seem to believe me, okay. There is not a company, there is not a network, there is not a person, place, or thing that is going to change who I am.”

Yet, Black women know, that whether or not we choose to change, there is rarely a company, place, or even person who will not make it their mission to insist that we do so.

For some of us, we are told that we are being sought after by companies or even intimate partners because of those same qualities that they will later state need to be changed.

Our boldness, strong opinions, self-assurance are assets, until they are not.

We are told that are independence is admired, until this same trait means that we are prioritizing our own needs/wants in relationships instead of putting our hopes and dreams on the backburner for the “prize” of being “chosen”.

Or that our ability to take care of ourselves, suddenly gets in the way of how society has kept us “in check” by making us fear being alone and unable to meet our own basic needs

The same companies and organizations that seek us out to lead because of how we show up in the room, suddenly want us to not be fully present

But instead, to fade into the corner, until they want to bring us forward to accept blame for dysfunction that preceded our arrival

Or to use us as a shield for their lack of allowing Black women to truly lead

Tabitha’s authenticity is goals

Yet, she even acknowledges that such goals can come at a price

For many Black women, they do not have the Target line, social media following, or sold-out seasoning to stand in their truth

And we must make room for them as well.

Sometimes, code-switching is survival

Occasionally, shrinking is an unfair necessity

For those who do have the privilege of not twisting into only a shadow of themselves and still being able to succeed, we hope you take a page from Tabitha’s book

Acknowledge that it is a privilege that not all Black women have

And pave that road to make it easier for the next generation to travel

With the actual #Goal of us all one day being free.

Dr. Tyffani is a licensed psychologist who centers the needs of Black Women and Girls in her work. She still has not been able to get her hands on Tabitha’s seasoning, but fully embraces Tabitha’s message of authenticity. She is the co-founder of Centering Sisters and co-hosts its podcast. Subscribe to the Centering Sisters podcast on Youtube. Like both the Centering Sisters and the Dr. Tyffani Facebook pages

Photo Credit: Tabitha Brown’s Instagram