Because “It is What it Is” Is NOT Acceptable: Stop Normalizing Black Child Trauma
At one point in my career, I worked as the director of a community-based program. Many of the clients served were Black children who resided in urban areas that were often marked by poverty and violence. In spite of what many liked to claim, urban violence is not the result of Black people, but is linked to poverty and lack of resources — -which unfortunately, systemic racism has made the reality for many Black people. In doing community-based work, I would often go see clients with therapists I supervised, or in the cases where I was providing the mental health services, on my own.
I recall one occasion in which a teenage boy I was counseling informed me that I needed to “call” when I got into his neighborhood so he could come to my car and get me. His rationale was that I could not be in the neighborhood alone because I might become the victim of violence. Looking at him, I simply said, “you worry about me visiting and being hurt, it must cause you a lot of anxiety to live here.”
With a resigned expression and bravado that did not make it to his eyes, he stated simply, “It is what it is.”
This mantra of accepting traumatic experiences as the norm is one that seems to only be expected of Black and Brown children. We will place it under the umbrella of Resiliency — —
or simply minimize that it truly impacts them at all.
In an Economic Policy Institute report (Morsey & Rothstein 2019), it was noted that stress can become toxic when the events or conditions precipitating it are severely frightening or threatening — especially when they are sustained or frequently repeated. Within their report, the authors identify exposure to neighborhood violence as an example of toxic stress. They noted that, toxic stress can impact emotional regulation, behavior, learning, memory and other needed brain functioning in children.
We know that many Black children within urban settings are exposed to violence, yet, in our responses, we do not actively seek to address its effects. Yet, we often penalize their responses to it via failing to appropriately address the emotional regulation, conflict resolution, or learning difficulties that result.
Instead, the “solutions” offered are over-policing (which can be traumatizing when one is viewing those doing the surveilling as not truly seeking to protect them), mass incarceration (which can cause reluctance for those within the community who are harmed to report because of disproportionate sentencing and how we know that family incarceration is also an adverse childhood experience and another cause of toxic stress), or in what can be what I view as one of the most harmful responses — — the normalization of trauma with no room being given to process or even acknowledge it.
One can claim that this normalization is socio-economic and not racial, but we see how poor white communities’ traumas are deemed “Crises” (which does not suggest normalcy) that require compassion and resources. We only need to see how the Opioid crisis that initially decimated poor white communities resulted in increased funding for substance abuse treatment, compassion within the legal system, and the recognition of the need to support the children who were affected by caregiver use. While Crack which impacted the Black community, was called an “epidemic” with mass incarceration, policing, and the pathologizing of children of users being called “Crack babies” with the accompanying blame being placed on the effects of parental use on them.
Even now, as I hear about a school district in an urban area that experienced gunfire during dismissal deciding that the students will return to school on the next scheduled school day for “business as usual”, I am reminded of how schools in whiter areas have responded to such with national outcries on the need for counseling in our schools and addressing what they deem the root causes of such violence. Because, within non-Black schools and communities, we view trauma as unacceptable and demonize it. While within Black schools and communities, we view it as “just another day” and to quote my client, “it is what it is”.
We must begin to demand that it is unacceptable to normalize trauma in the lives of Black children. There needs to be a separation between the concepts of what is disproportionately prevalent and what is viewed as normal.
Normal is viewed as acceptable
Normal is deemed something that does not need to be changed
Normal is defined as “how it should be”
In our failure to insist in the larger society and in the lives of our Black children that trauma is not indicative of The Black Experience, we push this belief that Black children do not deserve safety, but instead must exist in chaos. When we “praise” the one Black child who “got out” in which we “claim” they were “unscathed” (which is doubtful), we hide the experiences of those who understandably struggled under the weight of life experiences that many adults could not survive.
Yet, if we begin to demand that traumatic experiences in the lives of Black children are crisis situations, we change the narrative and the response is different.
Violence, poverty, and systemic racism are all traumatic experiences in the lives of Black children. We must call it such and provide the needed resources so that Black children do not experience ongoing significant effects of it.
Steps in addressing Trauma in The Lives of Black Children
1. Acknowledge that it exists and its various causes — -poverty, systemic racism, racial stress, community violence — -and develop intervention strategies to address them
2. Normalize stress responses to trauma — -make room within our schools, our communities, and homes to identify how anxiety associated with trauma is expected.
3. Insist upon culturally-informed interventions when trauma does occur — -whether violence happens in the neighborhood where the child resides or on the school grounds, pushing for “Back to Normal” reinforces the narrative that Black children are not allowed to be traumatized. Offering counselors within the community after tragedy is a necessity and should not be limited to a one-day check-in but should include ongoing programming
4. Within judicial and Child Protective Services systems making sure that those children exposed to trauma regularly do not have its impact minimized in determining their needs, while those who do not experience it regularly are the ones given grace/compassion
5. Insist that crises within Black communities receive the same goal of intervention versus punishment as they would if the primary ones harmed were from other communities
6. Understand that Posttraumatic Stress is real and that Black children do experience it
7. Identify if your own “admiration” for resiliency in Black children is contributing to the problem — are you insisting that “I survived” as a reason to dismiss the traumatic experiences in Black children? In this statement, the belief that mere survival is the goal versus thriving needs to be a part of your self-evaluation
8. Encourage Black children to voice that they indeed deserve better — -better than what the previous generation had and better than what they have experienced. In this voicing, assist them in identifying what they can do to assist in this process, while not attempting to gaslight them by claiming that they have total control of the world around them
9. Educate systems on how toxic stress can have long-term impacts on Black children and push for resources that decrease or eliminate them
10. Know your role — -Believe the experiences of Black children. Listen to the experiences of Black children. Actively advocate for changes to the world that seems hell-bent on traumatizing them
Dr. Dent is a licensed psychologist. Her hardest job is being a Black Woman who centers the experiences of Black women and girls. She firmly believes that the world needs to change so Black children do not have to be resilient. Make sure to “Like” her page and listen to her on the Centering Sisters Videocast on Facebook Live (@CenteringSisters) and on Youtube